Educate your child about sexuality

We live surrounded by terrible statistics. Our culture is saturated by the sexual revolution. From television ads to magazine displays to national news, we cannot escape the constant barrage of sexual messages. No one is exempted; not even a toddler. It seems that there is no escape. We parents can at best communicate our morality, our thoughts, and knowledge but Sexual and reproductive health should be taught not only to adolescent but to as young as a toddler as well. Many parents of young children feel that sex education is not appropriate at a very young age. Parents fear that their children will use their knowledge about sex and participate in sexual play resulting in promiscuity. Parents odd to know that normally young child lacks a sexual appetite and therefore lacks the desire to be sexually active. Some parents are afraid that the sex-educated child might lose his innocence which is far greater risk exists when children lose their innocence via sexual education or physical exploration with friends or being a victim of another child's abnormal sexual behavior. Parents are concerned that the child might be frighten or embarrass with details about sexual intercourse and sexual organ. This reaction lies with sex education via friends or the media or without the appropriate moral perspective of the parents.

There are many valid reasons why it is vitally important to sex educate very young children. Research shows that children who are sex educated and receive sexual boundaries are less promiscuous when compared to their friends who have no sexual boundaries or sex education. Because of the human nature of children they will explore sexually. (Freud, Sigmund 1905) Freud’s psychoanalytic third stage theory; the phallic stage lasts from three to five or even seven years old. The focus of pleasure is the genitalia. Masturbation is common. Fourth stage, the latent stage lasts from five, to puberty, that is, somewhere around 12 years old. During this stage, Freud believed that the sexual impulse was suppressed in the service of learning. Most children seem masturbate and playing ‘doctor’, they will touch and stimulate themselves and ask their friends to join them in their sensual and exploring activity. Fifth stage, the genital stage begins at puberty, and represents the resurgence of the sex drive in adolescence, and the more specific focusing of pleasure in sexual intercourse. During these three stages, parents are the center of young child's world. He/she takes in everything that the parents say. What a perfect time to begin imparting the values of human sexuality and Imprint in them for later part of their life.

Most Parents expect are convinced that young children are not capable of understanding the biological process of sex. Thus most parents seem to think it is too early, too young or have to wait when topic on sex education is raise. When kids sit down and talk to parents about tough issues like sexual organ and sexual relationship, parents often avoiding certain topics. While it is a challenge for parents to muster the courage to talk to our kids about sexuality, it is wise to start early. Teaching your child about sex at the right time is vitally important. Don' try to get the job done when your child is not focused and you don't have complete attention. The perfect timing could be when they ask questions about a pregnant woman. If this question gets asked in a public place, explain to your child that you will discuss it when you are at home in private. The right timing could also be when they notice the blood of a mother's period or ask about sanitary towel. You can explain the process of menstruation to a young child at that moment. It is important to reinforce sex education because the message seldom gets through the first time. Children like repetition. They never get tired of their favourite story. Keep sex education interesting by using appropriate drawings, pictures, or cartoons. Young children need good information about sex, sexual relationships, reproduction, and sexual abuse. Information is power, Sharing your values can be one of the greatest joys of parenting.

Four steps in telling young children on human sexuality

• As you teach your baby or toddler the names of body parts, include the names for the sexual organs. Try using appropriate drawings, pictures, or cartoons for illustration.
• Clarify the difference between appropriate and non-appropriate touch. Your child knows the feel of appropriate (good) touch. Hopefully he has been receiving lots of cuddling, hugs and kisses from family and friends since his birth. Explain that inappropriate (bad) touch is any touch that does not feel right. If anyone touches your child in this manner, he needs to know that he should tell them to stop. Then, it is important that he tell you. Make him aware that you always want to know if something is making him uncomfortable or unhappy.
• Teach your child that his genitals are private. Sexual play may begin around three years of age. This is a normal part of sexual exploration. Children may "play doctor" or simply undress and reveal their bodies to each other. If you discover that your child and a friend or siblings are involved in sexual play, it can take you by surprise. Try not to act shocked. Calmly, let your child know that it is not OK to show people his genitals, or to touch other people's genitals. Use this as an opportunity to discuss the differences between the bodies of boys and girls.
• Allow your child the pleasure of exploring his own body. Toddlers like to touch themselves as they bathe and get their diaper changed. Many are happiest when they are running around completely naked. Let your little one know that you understand it feels good to touch himself, but this is something for him to do in private. Young children are especially good at reading our body language and facial expression. Be careful that you aren't saying one thing, while your body is saying another.
  

Issues relating to homosexuality and legalization of homosexual marriage

Many Human sexuality researchers, religious groups, homosexual (gays and lesbians) suggest that a person's sexual orientation is determined before reaching school age or even before birth. It happens constantly across culture, irrespective of the different moral value and standards of a particular culture. (Statement on Homosexuality, American Psychological Association, 1994). Once established, sexual feelings are unchangeable. In terms of behavior by sexually active adults researchers accept three normal, natural expressions of sexual feelings. Most heterosexuals chose to enter into sexual relationship with the opposite sex while some homosexuals chose to become involved with members of the same gender but a minority prefers to be celibate.

While a group of researcher believes gay behavior can be change through counseling and therapist, others are more concern on whether gay behavior is normal and natural. No, homosexuality cannot be change by therapist or counseling because it is not illness, it does not require treatment nor changeable. The American Academy of Pediatrics and others have denounced counseling and therapist of high incidences of negative outcomes and very low and even questionable success rates. Also understand that while you can help a client change his or her behavior, it is much more difficult and near impossible to change who they are. Is homosexual normal and natural? Kinsey's Recent research confirms the basic finding that while only a small percentage of the population has exclusively homosexual experiences, or identifies as "gay" or "lesbian," many "straight" people have same-sex desires or experiences, thus confirm that hhomosexual behavior is after all not natural and not normal.


Many researchers argue that human sexuality is biologically determined is contrary to social scientific research, which suggests that sexuality is largely socially constructed. It ignores not only the sociological evidence against an innate unchangeable sexuality, but also the radical insight of Freud, that humans are not born "heterosexual" or "homosexual," and that the development of a an exclusive "heterosexuality" requires the repression of homosexual desire. Even Kinsey, rejected the concept of an innate sexual orientation, preferring to categorize people based on their sexual behaviors, and used a continuum from exclusive homosexual to exclusive heterosexuality to map human sexual behavior. Kinsey had to use this continuum because human sexual behavior did not fall into exclusive heterosexuality and homosexuality categories as the innate theory of sexual orientation suggested. Kinsey never argued that heterosexuals and homosexuals were two separate innate sexual orientations. Like Freud, he believed that all human beings were potentially bisexual.

Should we legalize homosexual marriage? Gay and Lesbian groups point to the high incidence of gay-bashing, as well as employment and accommodation discrimination. They feel that legalize and give equal protection under law for persons of all sexual orientations is badly needed but the public cries out in fear; “As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children." Anita Bryant, 1977. Many believe is homosexual marriage is "bad" and homosexual people should not be allowed to get married. Cal Thomas wrote: The facts are that people who want to change can change, because it is behavior at issue--not race, gender, or physical disabilities." Thus he believes that homosexuals cannot ask for "special protection under civil rights laws designed for people whose status has nothing to do with behavior."

Reasons why homosexual marriage should be legalizing because, firstly, Homosexuality is not natural, birth control are not natural. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children but homosexual don’t. Homosexual marriage should be decided by individual. Homosexual marriage will encourage more people to be homosexual, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you feel tall. Legalizing homosexual marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because most pets have legal standing and can sign a marriage license with their paws. If homosexual adopts children, they can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. Lastly, homosexual marriage will change the foundation of society and heterosexual marriages’ values.

Homosexual is not hereditary, social environment, family upbringing, self-esteem plays important role in a child’s life. Treatment and counseling therapy is a definite solution and not surgery to change one’s body into the imaginary gender. Legalized homosexual marriage will pose great discomfort and damage to value of society at large.

Psychology and Astrology (Fang Sui etc)

by Alina

Email: essentialitem@yahoo.com

Personality is a term commonly used in everyday language. But how does psychologist define personality? Personality is closely related to other human cognitive and emotional systems; it is not an independent mechanism. Psychologists defined personality as reasonably stable patterns of emotions, motives, and behavior that distinguished one person from another. Within this general definition, a number of different theoretical approaches exist.

According to psychodynamic theory of personality by Jung, Adler, etc, each of which owes its origin to thinking of Sigmund Freud (1905), these theories have a number of features in common. Each teaches that personality is characterized by conflict, a dynamic struggle (Freud, Sigmund 1905). At first, the conflict is external: Sexual drives, aggression, and the need for superiority (Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs) (Maslow, A.H. 1943) came into conflict with the laws, social rules, and moral codes. However, at some point laws and social rules are brought inward. After that, conflict is between opposing inner forces. At any given moment our behavior, thought, and emotions represent the outcome of these inner contests.

According to Freud, personality has a definable structure with three basic components Id, Ego, and Superego (The Ego and The Id 1923). The most primitive part of the personality, present in the infant is the id. Id is a Latin word that means “it”. The Id is unconscious, irrational and immoral part of the personality that exists at birth (biological), containing all the basic biological drives: hunger, thirst, self-protection, and sex. As of component of personality, the id seeks immediate satisfaction of nature urges through primary process, without concern for the morals and norms of society. Ego and Superego dealt with how the mind worked: conscientiously and unconsciously (Freud, The Interpretation of Dreams, 1899). It also described the behavior of the human body and why we do the things we do. Freud identified man’s weaknesses in saying that man is a biological creature with biological drives. He reflected these ideas from Darwin’s original ideas (Freud, Civilization).

Freudian theories (Freud, Sigmund 1905) scientifically predicted the future of an individual with the five-stage change in growth and the three components, id, ego and superego (Freud, Civilization). Hans J. Eysenck (1916-1997), the most influential psychologists giving attention to parapsychology and astrology (1975-1985). Indeed, he believed that empirical evidence supported the existence of paranormal abilities. Astrology is as much of a science as psychology. It is definitely better than the 'pseudo psychology' but psychologist named this belief pseudo psychology, a systems of explaining human behavior that are not based on the notion that the positions of the sun, the moon, and the stars affect human temperament and human affairs (Eysenck HJ 1975). For example, people borne under the sign of Jupiter are believed to be playful, good humor and jovial. One supposedly can also foretell the future by studying the positions of these bodies. With scientific evidence, astrologers maintained that the positions of the heavenly bodies at the time of our birth determined our personality and destiny totally disregard Freudians’ psychoanalytic theories and the psychosexual theory. The prepared forecasts called horoscopes that are based on our birthdates, indicate what it is safe for us to do. Astrologers claimed that your sign which reflected the month during which you were born (Eysenck & Nias 1982), indicates whom you will be compatible with doing away with the ‘MBTI’ test or the ‘Big Five’ test. Thus, a breakdown of marriages or a crash in personality has nothing to do with genes or Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theories.

Although psychologists and other scientists considered astrology to be pseudoscience, but it is being widely practiced in the Western world. The National Science Foundation (2002) found that astrology is rejected by 60% of Americans, but 43% still check their horoscopes from time to time.

In Chinese astrology, the entire birth charts are organized in order to determine which signs will hold their influence over an individual in the coming year. Here, elemental theory is employed to do the same. In the Greek zodiac, birth charts are used as well, but the continued influence of the stars does not change throughout one's life: it is determined by their arrangement at the date and time of one's birth.

If personality were determined solely by environmental factors, then it makes sense to think of personalities are only coming in a specified number and applying to more than one person. However, upon closer examination of people it is found that personalities are not the same, even for people borne on the same day (example: twins as in research) in the same circumstances, thus disproving the blanket theory that environment is the sole determinant of personality. Whereas personality psychologist engaged in research-based on science and mental processes including nervous system, sensation and perception, learning and memory, intelligence, language, thought, growth and development, stress, etc. The goal of psychologists is to seek, to describe, to explain, to predict (base on science), and to control behavior and mental processes.

Unlike astrologers who believed in the movement of the universal; palms (hands), and stars matches the birth date of the person in question.

It is a scientific fact that the gravitation during full moon causes high tides as well as influences mental patients who become more hyperactive. But Gravity is a "Cause" which cannot actually be seen, touched, tasted, smelled or heard; it is only "real" in the sense that its effects can be observed (Research, Freiburg and Naples in 1986, 1987 and 1988).

Thus, the effect of other planets on human personality cannot be questioned. What does that say about the power of astrology? Do this magnetic force change the id (genetic trait)? Does it cause the aggression gene to be triggered easily when basic needs are not met (Maslow’s Need of Hierarchy)?

Lastly, Astronomy, not astrology, is a science. The latter, like religion, is purely a matter of faith. Astrology is a pseudo psychology, not testable; nor based on observation. And because of the alleged complexity of natal horoscopes, any missed prediction can be excused, and its terms are too vague to yield definite predictions. Astrology, whatever the school or faction, can in no case claimed to be scientific!

Reference:
1. National Science Foundation (2002). Cited in Associated Press. (2002, April 30)
2. Erikson E.H. (1963). Childhood and society. New York: W.W. Norton.
3. Freud, S. (1927). A religious experience. In Standard edition of the complete psychological work of Sigmund Freud, Vol. 21. London: Hogarth Press, 1964.
4. Crowe, R.A. (1990). Astrology and the scientific method. Psychological Report, 67, 163-191.
5. Eysenck HJ (1975). Planets, stars and personality. New Behaviour, 29 May, 246-249.
6. Eysenck, Hans and Nias, David, Astrology: Science or Superstition? , London: Pelican 1982.
7. Maslow, A.H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review 50, 370-396